Just the thing to cheer up a grey day!

Have a good weekend - - - from the Team at JRS Consultants

Steven suggests this for the Friday Song:

Plus a "Happy Birthday to Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" for last Friday.

I loved 1981 - I was such a Trendy & Bright Young Thing (Terry Hall's hair has just reminded me) constantly full of the Joys of Spring . . well, Pernod and Black probably . . (will say no more)

Have a Good Weekend - - Sandra

Steve Barnes (Guest DJ) writes:

Congratulations to the two "Yorkshire" clubs succeeding in the play-offs, and, because I feel I should leave the Leeds choice up to Simon upon his return, here is a song from London 0 Hull 4:

Steve has been off poorly this week so this weeks Friday song is for him:

I was going to put this one up:

Good weekend everybody!

Obviously the sentiments involved in decisions like those below form an increasingly common feature of our conversations with the profession. The decision is not always in the negative however it would not be fair to describe those intending to continue as "enthusiastic". Steve tells me that I have used the summation of this mood "carry on regardless" twice this week - so here is a strangely perceptive musical rendition of the theme:

Do you need a bit of light relief today?

I did so I did this.

Apparently, and it looks to me like a perfectly genuine website, in a past life I was:

I don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation. You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Austria around the year 975. Your profession was that of a entertainer, musician, poet or temple-dancer.

Seems spot on to me!

Have a go an put any interesting findings in the comments box.

Many didn't, but I enjoyed the Style Council years and this seems somewhat appropriate this week:

Transitional chaos, Autorecbot madness etc. etc. Sometimes words are just not enough:

Suggested by Steve.

My choice.

On legal advice from AK.

All dedicated to..... oh you know who!

It's not really quite my thing, a bit too sentimental, but saw her live as the support act for Richard Hawley on Monday night. She kept the Sage Hall 1 enwrapped for 30 mins by herself with just a guitar. If anything I think she was better live than on this version. Reservations aside she has a great voice, real talent and deserves the minor plug being on this site brings;

You have had a song this week and I am reminded of this by fellow Marton 6th Form College alumni Bagrec. Hope it cheers you up as much as it did me:

I have just finished the course notes for the, near sell out, North Eastern leg of our next shouting tour. There are places left at the other venues.

As ever doing it late in the date is part my own fault part the ever present anticipation of the publication of other relevant course materials by the LSC. We may well have to make working repairs on route. I do find the current direction of travel somewhat depressing and I have also had another moody conversation with a client in a similar emotional state.

So here is a Friday tune from one of my current favourites, Editors, which is in a similar vein:

Performing live for the first time this year, tomorrow night (yeah not very industrious, I know ). Doing the usual slow time mondays, acoustic stuff but we have put in some last minute practice with the local related youth and intend to do two short electric sets. I am even gong to sing ! (well make a barely audible noise behind over-distorted guitars) - we intend to do this and two Ash songs:-

Much better will be versions of 3 Weller classics with our kid out front, especially, he says modestly, a pretty good stab at this:-

If you are near M'boro all you need is a chair and a picnic!

If you are familiar with The F Word you might not be surprised to know that our office has been not unlike Ramsey's kitchen this week. And so we sign off this week in similar style.

Exclusion criteria

Essential criteria

Desirable criteria

Declarations

Bound copies

Loose copy

CD ROM

12 Noon deadline

Courier

DONE

Regulars will probably remember our discussions concerning Autorecbots.

Now the Transformers appear to have their own movie.

"Choose your side - Protect or Destroy"

I have a rush job on 2 live PR samples to do and obviously more earache over "VHCC Challenge" is anticipated. Most importantly I obviously have to go have my back waxed, buy a new man bag and have my last, pre pool, tanning session before my holiday too. So only a short post today.

As it is Friday here is a Youtube clip:

Especially for those of you who wondered what happened to Fatima Whitbead.

When I get home tonight I intend to cook tea, as a form of therapy, and listen to the three albums I bought this week by - Editors, Ash and Arcade Fire. Here is a live clip of the latter, not the best quality but sounds ok played loud.

Not doing a Friday music vid today rather thought I'd drop in a plug, but not a detailed review, for two of the eateries my travels have taken me to this week.

First up, in the company of Andy was Brook's Restaurant in Brighouse (of Brighouse and Rastrick Brass Band fame). We ate well and had some very good win and we would heartily recommend it to you.

Last night I finally got up to Gourmet Spot in Durham the new home of Middlesbrough Chief, Sean Wilkinson. We were regulars at Attitude, his Teesside venture, which was probably a little to radical for our towns more conservative diners. Last night, due to the demand from graduating students, he only had the "normality" menu on (check the web-site). He did however bring me, and my enigmatic mystery guest, some samples off the "surrealism" alternative and very good they were too. With the exception of Seaham Hall this is undoubtedly the best meal I have had this year.

We have not done a Friday video in some time so here is one. The latest album from Black Rebel Motorcycle Club is currently in the CD player in my kitchen being the last one I bought. Here is one of their earlier tracks:

Bit under the weather.

Recurring neck problem.

Trying a bit of easy dictation from the comfy sofa.

So here's something a bit gentler this week. (Welsh Country music on Tuesday the proper US version today).

Next week I will be meeting with our web designer in Newcastle (any suggestion as to good restaurants in the centre of Toon would be appreciated).

After that we are going to indulge our mutual interest in the Manics.

So as it is Friday:

I also fully enjoyed the two thirds of this band who turned up in Middlesbrough Town Hall crypt last Saturday night (guess which original member was not present?):

Nominate your favourite tracks by the above in the comments box.

P.S. Andy's youngster mistook this for my band's, slow time mondays, version on the car radio.

Friday video time. This week based on the following convoluted logic; the first venue on the training tour is a (fugitive) motel and this band come from Manchester like the rumours below. Have a good weekend.

I am trapped at home today having somehow managed to lose both my sets of car keys! I have wasted a huge amount of time trying to find them too (the main set is now in Coventry with Andy). Given that, and because it is a Friday, I will dispense with lengthy and potentially depressing posts on legal aid topics and put up some music from You tube.

These are one of my current favourites who by chance I got to see live in the states on my recent holiday. I can heartily recommend their recordings generally and the latest "The Crane Wife" specifically.

There is a 10 minute "directors cut" of the video here.

Unlikely as it might seem, yesterday I was engaged in some idle speculation with a client concerning the duty rota fiasco, sorry minor technical hitch. We both were fervently hoping that the data supplied to Carter was not equally "robust". On the same theme we have previously had a pop at the statistical drivetime assumptions underpinning the proposed new boundaries.

Now I might be wrong but surely these are the easy tasks on the road "best value tendering". That being the case, and October 2008 being not that far away, we concluded hoping that some form of dry run, or like exercise, be undertaken shortly to build confidence amongst suppliers.

My own contribution on this point?

Perhaps they could try organising one of these at somewhere like this. They might even wish to consider the following advice too:

"If anybody ever wants to organise a piss up in a brewery, I suggest they do not go and ask the management of Royal Mail how to do it."

Mark Francois, MP, Commons Hansard, 5 July 2004

I'd turn up if invited!

. . . this blog is named as a result of our Mr Pottinger's jibes about my allegedly portly appearance . . . and with reference to the potential for getting fatter wallets!

Our tip for the National has to be "Simon" . . . yes, check the list, he is not in the States, but preparing to hurdle over 30 fences at Aintree.

Jumping over the LSC's ever-increasing hurdles is not enough for this thoroughbred, and at reasonable odds, perhaps this is a chance for us all to actually make some money?!

Any other (proper) tips are welcome ....

With "Old Mr Grace", as we call him, a continent away, I now have chance to avenge this from last year.

As two of our clients have recently asked, has our very own Senior Partner started moonlighting on MasterChef Goes Large?

Comments & suggestions gleefully accepted . . .

Sandra Oz

Continuing to try and lift the gloom how about this:

Friend of this site Andrew Keogh's firm Tuckers features in this weeks Gazette. One can well understand the firms frustration - not least given Andrews dogged persistence regarding matters such as that in the post above.

It is not the first time the LSC have used such a photo either. (The link to the PDF file no longer works).

Think of all the swearwords you know, going right back throughout your life, in every language you know, including those you have made up yourself.

Now times that by three and imagine it condensed it into one single, impassioned, not taking a breath 5 minute rant. (A rant I anticipate taking place in every office of any firm who supplies billing related software to the profession).

Having nearly finalised our Online CDS 6 Wizard and being close on the CMRF version they have gone and changed the @£$*ing forms again. Along with a bunch of amendments to others (including the CDS 7 for which we also supply a free Wizard) these will come in with the new reporting codes in April.

I am trying to think of an appropriate Youtube clip to post - the John Cleese thrashing car scene from Fawlty Towers is too long at 5 mins and they don't have 70s punk legends Alternative TV singing their classic "You &^%$ard".

We will have a version available by April for users.

Stumbled across this though which I dedicate to our Mr Barnes:

Mrs SP, who works in Local Government, is currently having her department assessed by another wing of the Central Government inspectorate. The auditors self description is:

"Someone who is sent to shoot the wounded following the battle".

Any better ones will be published.

For those thinking like me I have already tried to find an image of Viz's "Bottom Inspectors" which is what a client named his audit team recently. Wikipedia describes them as follows:

The Bottom Inspectors – a parody of Hitler's SS, or perhaps the Stasi. A fascist organisation who knock on people's doors in the middle of the night and inspect their bottoms. Any transgression is dealt with arbitrarily and cruelly. It has been revealed that the bottom inspectors are actually based on the ticket inspectors of the Newcastle Metro system (Chris Donald in a 'Picture of Tyneside', BBC 4, June 2005).

I appreciate that this is somewhat juvenile but it is Friday.

UPDATE

This is the best I can do.

I am preparing correspondence to this Autorecbot seeking an early reinstatement of a clients SMPs. Interestingly in this case the "overpayment" is almost exactly the same as the first contract payment made in 2001. I have commented previously about how this was then described as an "interest free loan" and that now the bailiffs have now been called in.

Yesterday I had sight of a clients letter to another requesting the full 107.5% balance of payments allowance which has been tenaciously refused to date.

On a positive note I spoke to a firm yesterday ruminating over whether to hold back some claims this month to put through next. I advised that it is a good Autorecbot defence to be underpaid - you never get any contact in those circumstances - unless you know otherwise?

Here is some secret film of an LSC training session earlier this year, taken by a good, rebel Autorecbot:

Here is their new "company song":

By way of thanks to the good Autorecbots out there here is:

My version of the latter is available on the album "Start" by the "slow time mondays" ("Best debut album of 2006" - M.R., Solicitor, Doncaster) for £5 - £4 of which goes to Lawcare.

We are making a bit of effort here to balance stupid things which make you cross/depressed with stupid things which make you laugh. IF you are looking for a bit of the latter and don't object to Dom Jolly style wind up merchants try this.

You need sound however it is "office safe", there is no swearing - unlike a routine day in the JRS HQ.

It struck me that the Carter proposals could be derailed by a strike of Peer Reviewers, rather than the entire profession, some time ago. I kept quiet because I didn't want to upset our Peer Reviewer clients. One of this mornings phone calls indicates that someone else has had the same notion and it is an idea under active discussion in Yorkshire. I consequently feel less constrained.

The same caller draws my attention to the search for new LSC Commissioners. Does anyone fancy applying? Closing date is 9th February.

A JRS mouse-mat to any successful applicants, (you can just ask for one anyway).

I am continuing with the dress down friday theme having been directed to a couple of fantastic old videos on Youtube (Magazine and the Only Ones). There is tons of stuff there from my youth including the one which follows. This, by the Monochrome Set, reminds me forcibly of "Plan B" discos at the Q Ball Club in Durham whilst a student. This is a version of Jacob's Ladder I don't remember and is different from the one I have on their Greatest Hits album (bought at the Virgin Megastore in Downtown Disney, Florida 2001). It is also a very bizarre video. Go and find some of your old favourites and tell us about them in the comments. (We might even post requests next week).

Sorry I can't resist putting this up too - no more after this, today! Normal service resumed on Monday.

If you saw this cover story in the Gazette you might have been reminded of this and this.

Copies of our (slow time mondays) debut album "Start" are still available and - just to reiterate - £4 from each album sold over this site goes to Lawcare. So dig deep and get buying.

We are back in the studio shortly working on that difficult second album and thinking about a video for myspace or youtube!

Did I mention how much I currently hate COMET because of their after-sales approach? Andy does too for a similar experience 5 years ago. Stay clear and support a local supplier even if more expensive is our advice.

This, along with the obviously congruent client care element of Peer Review, got me thinking about a longer post on the subject. This was partly inspired by the high standard of service I have received from London CABs (yes that's right all the CAB drivers I used this week were helpful, friendly and efficient without a single inappropriate political comment to boot), this hotel and our bank (admittedly putting a mistake of theirs right but apologising in a polite manner in a very speedy response) this week. COMET don't do sorry it seems.

So I was thinking about this when Andy rang with this gem.

Before I divulge - remember the PR scoring scale:

1 Excellent
2 Competence Plus
3 Competence
4 Below Competence
5 Failure in Performance

When you get to the end of the post you can put your grade in the comments box.

A client firm has had its PR result. Under separate cover the files arrived back today. They are in the original storage boxes. Unfortunately they are not this firm's files rather they belong to another CDS supplier. Where their files are is as yet unclear. 1- 5 you are the Judge.

N.B. Whilst pondering your assessment remember that a client firm of ours received a "major area of concern" at assessment for sending a letter to a client at his previous bail address after being remanded.

The JRS Head Office team are both starving and we are going for two of these. Unfortunately we don't have Hard Rock on Teesside so this will have to do.

And here are some people talking about burgers too. N.B. Do not play if offended by swearing.

Todays comment question what is your favourite burger?

To make up for no post on Monday too here is another one today.

Sandra and Joanna are taking advanced orders for Start, the debut album of slow time mondays. £5 a time of which £4 goes to charidy - about which I do not like to talk.

Album launch and a live performance at the Rudds Arms, Marton, Middlesbrough a week today.

Not here tomorrow as I am going here with my mates.

It is a city I love and I will happily revisit all those tourist places I been to before, but others haven't, especially here, here and probably this gem too .

It was images from the diving at the 1992 Olympics which first attracted me to the place - had I a transferable skill I might even move there.

I do intend finally to get to this park which has always eluded us in the past.

Needless to say it will also involve plenty of this, this, and this.

For those of you stuck in cold blighty may I suggest trying out some of these and a little drop of this.

Back Tuesday.

I am shouting a long way from home tomorrow so the chances of a post are negligible. Given that we have done a lot about photos recently I feel compelled to draw you attention to this must read piece in Obiter.

The photo it displays can be found here .

And the headline is right it does put one in mind of simpler times.

Barnesy's response to this is to say that I am a lookie-likie of him. Can't see it myself.

We do of course have one of these on the team.

Look into my eyes....

This is JRS Consultant Steve Barnes.

Have you ever seen him in the same room as him or him.

One often hears stories of ageing footballers (yes I know cheeky @£%!&^*£) who no longer train between matches (famously the wonderful Eddie Gray). Instead they use the intervening period to recuperate. I am now like that after shouting sessions (training sessions for those new to this place). I did two such courses yesterday and then crawled around the M25, stop started up the the M1 before a swifter A1M and A19 return home.

My delivery curry (a chicken tikka karhi from highly recommended Cafe Spice of Middlesbrough) arrived at the exact moment I disembarked and I only just missed the start of the League of Gentlemen film on Film 4.

This morning I feel knackered and am already considering how soon I can begin the necessary programme of recuperation with my personal fitness adviser the lovely Stella. This does of course not come cheap.

Suggestions of other life renewing processes gratefully received.

Check this out if, like me, you need cheering up today.

We lost to the LSC - let us know of your own scraps.

HAT TIP

Anon in the comments.

"Come on England".

On behalf of this site, and I anticipate the vast bulk of our readership, can I pass on our hopes and best wishes to the Mighty Leeds United for a timely return to the top flight on Sunday.

Those sick of being shouted at me on seminars might prefer my alter ego as guitarist in "slow time mondays". This involves my brother and I in a kind of mid-life crisis version of Teessides "Journey South". (We even have a couple of mutual covers although we did them first and ours are obviously better!). Can't make a link to the flyer for our latest charidy performance but its on two Fridays time, May 26th, in Middlesbrough. A small number of tickets remain.

Those in need of a further shouting at (especially in the North East and East Midlands) don't forget that the speaker tour continues next week.

It is now official. (Well at least there's a report in What Car?).

What we have been pointing out for years is true, fat cat lawyers earn less than car mechanics. With scary coincidence the standard out-of-London preparation rate, for mainstream CDS work, is exactly the same as the lower range of garage charges identified in the report.

I for one am disgusted that there is so little media attention given to these fat cat grease monkeys who are clearly bleeding the hard working families of the UK dry. I am so incensed I am going to contact my MP and suggest that this be subject to serious Parliamentary consideration.

My proposal will be that a Labour Peer, with no connection to the motor trade, be given 6 months of blue sky thinking time to sort it out. In particular I am sure greater efficiency, and reduced costs to the public could be achieved by detailed consideration of the following areas of financial haemorrhage;

Sucking through teeth before telling a female driver that she will require "new trumpets" fitting.
Lascivious ogling of low quality, soft porn calendars sent by spark plug manufactures.
Ridiculous and outdated line dance routines undertaken by all workshop staff prior to changing a tyre.
The deliberate changing of all seat, radio, mirror and heating settings so as to make the vehicle undrivable on return.
Cars never being ready when promised (wrong part sent from Basildon boss)

Further suggestions of other industries worthy of similar scrutiny gratefully received.

I read this on the front of this weeks Gazette.

I must not make fun, these are people with jobs and mortgages.
I must not make fun, these are people with jobs and mortgages.
I must not make fun, these are people with jobs and mortgages.
I must not make fun, these are people with jobs and mortgages.

But on the other hand - it looks like a long period of "natural wastage" and face it they show little or no compassion when making decisions with the same effect on law firms.

In the modern world there is of course only one way to achieve these savings.

LSC X Factor.

Week by week audit and assessment practice is assessed by a panel of Judges (I'd do it) and then a final decision on who to eliminate goes to local legal aid practitioners by phone poll.

If it came down to a final head-to-head showdown I'd also know "which act I was sending home" and who I'd keep.

Any alternative ideas on enlightened redundancy policy should be placed in the comments boxes.

A short, slightly flippant post for a Friday inspired by Michael Buerk's courting of controversy earlier in the week.

With his views in the ether I had a look at the LSC corporate plan this week. It is available on their website (which at time of writing is unavailable so sorry for the lack of a link) in full Technicolor. Have a flip through and what do you think the balance of male to female images is? A rough calculation can be found be clinking on the "continue to read" line below.

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